Where “Hey Gay Boy” Began
James Wallis’ work grew out of two parallel journeys. During lockdown, he was hosting a podcast while also in therapy, where shame became a central theme. As he invited people from the LGBTQ+ community to share their stories, he noticed those conversations resonated most deeply. They reflected a shared history of growing up without language, education, or representation for queer lives. What began as exploration became purpose.
When James started TikTok, he opened videos with “Hey Gay Boy,” a phrase that carries both pain and comfort. Once used as an insult, reclaiming it transformed the word into something grounding and affirming. What followed was the growth of a community that finally felt seen, and feedback that continues to move him deeply.
Visibility, Vulnerability, and Fear
Sharing publicly can feel exposing, even for those who are already out. The fear of judgment, backlash, or being misunderstood is real. Interestingly, TikTok felt safer at first because it reached strangers, while Instagram felt more intimate, filled with friends and family and the possibility of harder conversations. Confidence online often masks how vulnerable the process truly is.
Authenticity on Social Media
James speaks mostly in the second person, addressing the viewer rather than centering himself. This allows him to honor lived experience without claiming stories that are not fully his own. It also reflects a belief that authenticity is not about exaggeration or performance, but about resonance. True authenticity leaves space for nuance, education, and honesty, even when it does not chase virality.
The “Straight Pill” and Holding Two Truths
One viral moment centered on a provocative idea: would life be easier if you could take a “straight pill”? The response was divided. Some saw it as an honest acknowledgment of systemic privilege. Others worried it reflected shame. What emerged was something more complex. You can be proud of who you are and still recognize that the world is not built equally. Holding those two truths at once is not failure, it is maturity.
Being Visible Versus Being Seen
Much of social media rewards being visible, but not necessarily being seen. There is a difference between content that is entertaining and content that is nourishing. Deep conversations, though less viral, often leave a lasting impact. They ask us to sit with discomfort instead of scrolling past it, and that is where real connection lives.
Validation, Growth, and the Inner Child
Both host and guest reflected on earlier years spent chasing external validation, whether through bodies, attention, or performance. Over time, that pursuit gave way to something steadier: self-awareness. Understanding concepts like healthy narcissism and inner-child work helped reframe reactions to rejection, comparison, and shame. Instead of punishment, the practice became compassion.
A Message to Take With You
Everyone has a story worth telling. You do not need a platform, a following, or permission to share it. Stories connect us more than facts ever could. Healing does not only happen in therapy rooms. It happens in conversations, in reflection, and in the courage to speak honestly.
Final Reflection
The wounded child will always want to run the show. The work is learning how to notice that voice, meet it with kindness, and choose a different response. It is slow, imperfect, and ongoing, but it leads to freedom.
Stay curious. Live authentically. Keep TURTZING it up.
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