Aging, Anxiety, and Acting Like an Ancestor
Some conversations quietly rewire how you hear everyday language. This one did. Ashton Applewhite, author of “This Chair Rocks” and a leading voice challenging ageism, joined TURTZED and made one thing clear: ageism is not an “older people problem.” It is an “everyone problem”, because everyone is aging, every single day.
What an “Ism” Really Is
Ashton defines an ism as a set of stereotypes about a group, both internal and societal. Ageism shows up in the assumptions we make about who is capable, relevant, or worth listening to. Most often it targets people labeled “too old” in a youth-obsessed culture, but “too young” also dismisses talent, leadership, and lived experience before it has a chance to be seen.
The Bias We Learn Without Noticing
No one is born afraid of aging. That fear is taught. Media, language, and cultural norms slowly reinforce the idea that aging equals decline. Over time, those messages shape how we treat others and how we imagine our own future selves.
The Happiness Curve Nobody Mentions
One of the most surprising truths Ashton shared is the U-shaped happiness curve. Research shows happiness often dips in midlife and rises again later. Not because life gets easier, but because perspective sharpens. Time feels real, and people get better at living in the moment instead of waiting for permission.
Fear Sells, Reality Is Quieter
Ashton began this work after realizing how negatively she viewed her own aging. When she turned to data and conversations with people in their eighties and beyond, the story changed. Aging is not one long decline. It has challenges, yes, but also depth, clarity, and joy. Fear sells products and headlines. Contentment does not.
The Timeline That Messes With Us
Chrono normativity is the pressure to hit milestones by certain ages. Married by this year. Successful by that one. It is a rigid timeline that ignores how unpredictable real lives are. When one path is treated as “normal,” everyone else feels behind.
Why Productivity Is Not Human Worth
In a culture that ties value to output and income, retirement can feel like invisibility. Unpaid work, like caregiving and volunteering, often done by older adults, is rarely valued despite holding communities together. Ashton argues for a new roadmap of life that allows people to cycle through learning, work, care, and rest across decades.
The Myth of the Generational Divide
Despite headlines, there is little evidence that younger and older people are at odds. Most want the same things: respect, flexibility, opportunity. Division is useful because it distracts us from questioning broken systems.
You Cannot Fail at Aging
Dr. Robert Butler, who coined the term ageism, once told Ashton: if you get up in the morning and tie your shoes, you are aging successfully. No single model. No performance required.
Act Like an Ancestor
The most powerful takeaway is simple. Live in a way that honors where you came from and who comes after you. Build relationships across ages. Refuse to age out of curiosity, connection, or joy.
The Reminder I Hope You Carry
Age is a fact, not an identity. It says far less about you than we are taught to believe. And if you wake up tomorrow and show up for your life, you are doing it right.
Connect with Ashton Applewhite
